Guerrilla Optimists Are The Best Friends To Have
One of my closest friends is a true optimist. She treats every setback as a teaching tool, accepts every success with grace and humility, and manages major changes in her life without going into panic mode. As I got to know her better I noticed that most of her friends are successful, cup-half-full folk too. Then I discovered that there’s power in associating yourself with people who know how to find the win in any loss.
“How do you do it? How on earth can you be so upbeat right now?”
I probably asked my friend this a dozen times before she gave me a real in-depth answer. Fortunately, she gave it to me in the simplest terms.
“I told you,” she said with a laugh. “I’m a guerrilla optimist.”
After she explained what that meant for her I began to understand why she refers to her brand of optimism as “guerrilla.” As a self-made businesswoman she’s simply describing the level of optimism she feels entrepreneurs need to succeed — and that totally makes sense. The most useful thing she told me was that being successful in something challenging requires one to treat optimism more like a practice than a state of being, because doing so is a crucial part of maintaining consistency and avoiding meltdowns. Also, knowing her personally helped me dispel a myth about upbeat people I’d accepted for a long time. It’s this:
Being extremely optimistic doesn’t mean I have to be excruciatingly cheerful. It doesn’t require me to speak in high-pitched, lilting tones or call anyone who isn’t like me a “Gloomy Gus.”
She isn’t like that, and I’m not either. Because that would make me unbearable. In fact, that would make anyone unbearable.
Rather, becoming a guerrilla optimist meant that I had to react and adapt to chaotic situations differently than I had before. Now have a mantra I say quietly to myself so that I can hold on for dear life and grasp the upside of a bad situation.
It’s something like, “My head hasn’t blown clean off my shoulders yet so I guess it’ll be ok.”
That’s it…seriously. I know it’s corny, but it’s simple and it actually calms my inner self down. But in all truth my mantra doesn’t work all the of time; I’m fairly certain no one’s mantra does — unless they’ve spent years in an orange robe perfecting it in the top tier of a pagoda somewhere. For the rest of us, that’s where having friends who’re guerilla optimists comes in. They’re the ones who come over, force you to get some fresh air, and remind you that setbacks are a part of the process for everyone who’s accomplished something great.
Having friends who’re optimistic makes a difference too. It’s certainly better than surrounding yourself with people who report your probability of failure to you each time you announce a new endeavor. It’d be reckless to think that you don’t need friends who are risk assessors; those people will always play a valuable role in your circle. But having friends who’re willing to support you as you take positive risks is a better idea if you’re building something for yourself from the ground up or recovering from a devastating loss.
Again, some people are natural optimists. They’re born buoyant and don’t need their thinking realigned to help them cope or see the brighter side of things. Admittedly, I wasn’t one of those people. Further, I never would’ve even bothered to look for the tools to become one if I hadn’t seen it transform the lives of people I know.
A cousin of mine lost the love of her life in a tragic accident and managed to use her resolve to move forward. She pushed through her grief like a mental gladiator, wrote a book to help others, and is living proof that being proactive in your optimism is a way to propel you toward something better.
So now I’m a part of their gang. I’ve joined the league of people who shoot their shot in the face of immeasurable odds. I now get that optimism is just as important as perseverance with regard to me getting what I want, and I like that the people closest to me right now think about optimism in the same way. My accountability circle is fully formed, and it’s already helped me earn considerably more income, let go of some anxiety in my decision making, and refrain from swearing under my breath when I try to do…pretty much anything. And that feels good.
Guerrilla optimists, baby. We’re out here. If you don’t know one, become one.
